In many modern marriages, submission is expressed in different ways that contradict God’s word. Hence, it is important for Christian couples to know what biblical submission in marriage means, as this will help them key into God’s plan for their marital relationship.
The concept of submission has always been a cause for arguments in many homes because some couples don’t know the mind of God about it. Fortunately, the word of God provides some advice for couples to help them play their different roles in marriage properly.
In this article, we will discuss what submission means in the Bible and how a husband and wife can practice it in a Christian marriage.
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Most people simply have an idea of submission, but they don’t know what it really means. According to the KJV dictionary, to submit to someone means to yield or surrender to their power, will, or authority.
The word submission comes from the Greek word “hupotasso,” meaning “to place under.” Several passages of scripture instruct wives to submit to their husband’s leadership, including Apostle Paul’s command in Ephesians 5:22–23, which says,
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“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”
Colossians 3:18 also says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Apostle Peter gives similar instructions in 1 Peter 3:1, which says, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
From these Bible verses, we understand that by God’s design, a Christian wife must submit to her husband’s authority. Additionally, a wife’s submission is not dependent on any condition. Rather, it depends on her willingness to do the right thing as a way to please God.
So when a woman treats her husband with honor and respect, even when he doesn’t deserve it, she’s simply obeying God’s instructions.
If a Christian wife is submissive in her marital relationship, she’d continue to earn her husband’s love and trust. Moreover, she will always obtain favor in the sight of God and man because of her act of obedience.
While most verses of the scriptures about submission of wives can be found in the New Testament, it’s origin is in the Old Testament in the Book of Genesis.
According to biblical records in Genesis 2, God placed Adam in the garden of Eden to take care of it. In Genesis 2:16-17, God commanded Adam, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”
But the serpent deceived Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, and she gave some of it to her husband Adam. This sin of disobedience brought about serious repercussions in the form of curses from God.
In Genesis 3:16, God said to the woman, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
Therefore, submission in a marriage relationship is compulsory for Christian wives, and it can’t change because this declaration is from God.
No one knows why God decreed that a husband will rule over his wife. But from human perspective, we understand that Eve was the one who was tempted and not Adam.
God’s standard for marriage remains the same from generation to generation. From the day a man and woman get married, the man automatically becomes the head of the woman, according to 1 Corinthians 11:3, which says,
“But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
If a husband or wife refuses to acknowledge this fact, conflicts will always arise in their marriage.
Biblical Submission of a Wife
Sincerely speaking, some Christian wives don’t know how to practice biblical submission in marriage. If a wife desires to be submissive to her husband but doesn’t know how to, she’ll be focusing on the wrong things.
Here are some of the ways a Christian woman can submit to her husband in marriage:
1. Allow Your Husband to Lead
Men are the physical and spiritual leaders, and they must be treated as such. To be a submissive wife, a woman must always allow her husband to play his leadership role without interference.
When a wife begins to challenge her husband’s authority in the home, he’ll begin to lose interest in the marriage.
While a man and woman are equal in the sight of God, the man is the head of his home according to the word of God. Therefore, a wife’s submission in marriage is the acknowledgement of her husband’s biblical headship.
A godly marriage is not a battle where two masters would have to compete to determine the winner. It’s a place where someone has to humble themselves for the other and allow them to take charge. And in this case, the person who should take charge, based on God’s instruction, is the husband.
2. Obey Him
Obedience to one’s husband is one of the simple ways a good wife can express submission in a godly marriage. In the Book of Titus 2:5, Apostle Paul advises wives to be “discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
Even if a wife is richer or more accomplished than her husband, as long as she’s under his authority, she must obey him.
In many modern marriages, some wives don’t listen to their husbands. They believe in equal rights for a man and his wife, and anything other than that is a form of control and abuse. It’s no wonder why the rate of divorce continues to increase at a rapid rate.
If a wife knows that her husband’s leadership is under the authority of God, she won’t have a problem with obeying him.
But in a situation where a man wants his wife to do things that contradict God’s word, she has the right to disobey him.
3. Seek His Opinion
Another way to submit to your husband as a wife is to ask for his opinion about any decision you want to take. Nothing makes a man feel irrelevant in his marriage more than seeing his wife make decisions without consulting him. In the context of marriage, a husband’s approval of his wife’s plans can attract God’s blessings to it.
Usually, wives who don’t consult their husbands about their decisions have ulterior motives. And at the end of the day, their plans don’t always work out as expected.
Once married, a man and his wife become a team that must work together to achieve a common goal. No decision is too big or too small to discuss with one’s husband in a loving marital relationship.
4. Support Your Husband
Genesis 2:18 reveals God’s mission for creating Eve for Adam. It says, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Therefore, a wife can submit to her husband by supporting him in every way possible. Support doesn’t have to be in the form of monetary value only; it can be as simple as doing the little things a husband loves without being told.
A wife can also support her husband by encouraging him and acknowledging his physical and spiritual leadership. This act of submission holds great value more than anything money can buy.
5. Respect Him
Paul the Apostle gave practical advice to wives about how to submit to their husbands in the Book of Ephesians 5:33. This verse of the scripture says, “So again, I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Respect is a key part of the submission of wives to their husbands. If a woman claims to be submissive and she doesn’t respect her husband, she’s a pretender. Although marriage thrives on mutual respect, it is the primary role of a wife to respect her husband.
Men love it when their wives honor and regard them, even when they don’t deserve it. And of course, a man doesn’t have to do anything special to earn his wife’s respect in a Christian home.
A woman who consistently disrespects her husband would find it difficult to enjoy peace in her marriage. As she continues to dishonor her husband, the man will continue to resent her, which often results in an unhappy union.
There will be times in a marriage when a wife will disagree with her husband over certain issues. Still, she must do so respectfully to avoid crushing his ego and hurting his feelings.
A wife who practices submission doesn’t argue with her husband over petty issues or insult him in the presence of their children. It’s easy to know a woman who respects her husband by the way she relates with him with the fear of Christ.
Understand that it is the responsibility of a Christian husband and wife to practice mutual submission. However, a husband’s submission is to God and not to his wife.
God wants the marriage of believers to be the representation of Christ and the Church, according to the book of Ephesians 5:25.
Here are some of the ways a man can practice submission:
1. Follow God’s Leading
Before a husband can exhibit the behaviors of a godly leader in his home, he must first submit to the leading of God.
Once a man acknowledges that God is the author of marriage, everything he does to his wife will align with biblical principles. He would always seek to please God by the way he relates with his wife at all times because the spirit of God will be in his heart.
Even if his wife doesn’t behave the way he desires, he will continue to treat her the way the Lord wants Him to.
2. Love Your Wife
The Bible, in the book of Ephesians 5:25, commands husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Also, Ephesians 5:28–29 says, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”
A man must practice sacrificial love in his marriage, the same as Christ’s love for the Church. He must be willing to give up the things he values for the wellbeing and happiness of his wife.
Just as a wife’s submisison to her husband has no condition, a husband’s love for his wife doesn’t have a condition as well.
In a godly marriage, the husband must love his wife, even when she doesn’t deserve his love. When a husband loves his wife who doesn’t submit to him, he’s not doing her any favor.
Instead, he’s practicing submission to God and obeying His divine instructions to follow Christ’s example.
Since the leadership of a home has been entrusted in the husband’s hand, he must lead his wife in a way that pleases God. If a woman must obey her husband, she must be sure that his demands align with the word of God.
A man who consistently asks his wife to engage in sinful activities is not leading her in a godly way. And so his wife is justified if she refuses to follow his lead.
Being the bride of Christ, the church confidently follows Christ’s leading because they know He can’t mislead them. Christian husbands must also do the same to earn their wives’ trust.
Understandably, leading a home is a huge responsibility that requires divine wisdom. Therefore, a man must always seek the face of God every time, as this will allow him to make the right decisions for his family.
4. Be Willing to Make Sacrifices
As the head of the home, a godly man must be ready to make sacrifices for his wife without hesitation. Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”
Although both the husband and wife have the mutual obligation to make sacrifices for each other, the husband must set the perfect example for his wife. Love requires sacrifices, the same way God gave His only begotten son to die for the sins of mankind.
Jesus Christ also gave the best example of how to practice submission in marriage. He humbled himself to the point of death on the cross of Calvary to please the heavenly Father and to redeem us from the curse of sin.
A husband can practice submission by putting his wife’s needs above his own needs and doing things that make her happy, even when it’s not convenient.
There are several assumptions about submission that some couples hold on to, which is not in line with God’s word. The implication of these false beliefs is that a husband may begin to use the wrong approach to make his wife submit to him, resulting in frustration, anger, or worse, divorce.
Here are common misconceptions that contradict the concept of submission in the Bible:
Submission is a Sign of Weakness
Some modern women believe that only a weak wife submits to her husband, especially if she’s more accomplished than him career-wise. This is a wrong perception about submissiveness that reflects arrogance and ignorance.
A submissive wife is not weak, and neither is she inferior to her husband. On the other hand, she’s a strong and courageous woman who trusts her husband’s leadership and authority because of her obedience to God.
Additionally, a submissive wife is a wise woman who wants her marriage to be peaceful and successful. Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
Even when issues arise in the home, which can’t be avoided, a submissive woman would know how to resolve them quickly because she values her marriage more than her ego.
Blind Obedience is a Form of Submission
Just as a man can think rationally, a woman can also think rationally as regards issues that concern their home. As a wife, doing everything your husband asks you to do even when they’re morally and biblically wrong is not godly submission.
While a man has the right to make the final decision in his home, he must always seek his wife’s opinion. Some women are smarter and more knowledgeable than their husbands because of their level of education and exposure.
If a man marries such a woman and decides not to share ideas with her, he’ll miss out on a lot of opportunities that can improve his life.
A godly marriage is not a master-servant relationship where whatever the husband says is final. Rather, it is a partnership where both the husband and wife have the right to freely express their opinions without the fear of being judged or mocked.
Submission Must Be Enforced
Biblical submission is an act that occurs naturally without any form of force or pressure. If a man has to physically and emotionally abuse his wife to make her submit to him, he’s not practicing godly submission.
Many husbands assume submission entails controlling their wives to respect and obey them, while others use money as a tool to enforce it. And if these types of men don’t achieve their aim, they may become sad and frustrated.
A godly wife understands that she has to submit to her husband willingly as a way of honoring God. So her husband doesn’t have to do anything special before she submits to him, just as a wife doesn’t have to do anything unusual before her husband loves her.
Final Thoughts
God’s desire for a Christian marriage, according to the scriptures, is simple and straightforward. Both the husband and his wife have the mutual obligation to practice biblical submission in marriage. However, a husband’s submission is to God, and his wife’s submission is to him.
The Bible compares the relationship between the man and his wife to the relationship between Christ and the Church. Therefore, a husband must love his wife, and the wife must submit to her husband.
Although conflicts may arise once in a while in their marriage, as long as they’re playing their different God-assigned roles, they’ll find a way to resolve them amicably.
When a husband and wife continue to follow God’s command, they’ll have a beautiful and lasting marriage.
Kennie Oguntoyinbo is a freelance content writer, editor and proofreader with over 4 years of experience. She is highly skilled in creating captivating and informative content across the Christian, relationship, and parenting niches. With a deep love for Christian-related articles, she writes content that inspires the readers, combining biblical lessons with practical knowledge. Whether writing devotional blogs, relationship advice, or family-focused articles, she aims to glorify God while connecting with readers through relatable, encouraging, faith-driven articles.
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