The Bible is packed with stories, history, poetry, and songs about wives—over 300 mentions, in fact. So, wives are a big deal in God’s design for building His Kingdom. But the Bible is mixed when it comes to submissive wives. Some wives submit to God’s word and their husbands and are blessed like Ruth, whose loyal love towards her mother-in-law resulted in her grandchild David becoming King of Isreal.
In contrast, others go their own way, like Eve, who chooses to disobey God in the Garden of Eden, resulting in separation from the Lord God. And then there are the ones who are a bit of both, like Sarah, who tried to take God’s promise for a child into her own hands and caused her servant to suffer.
However, Sarah later demonstrated her submissive respect for her husband and became the mother of nations. These stories show just how complicated human beings can be and how God’s endless mercy can make a masterpiece out of a mess— especially in marriage relationships.
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In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul, his student Titus, and the Apostle Peter wrote to the Christian churches about how to live godly lives as followers of Jesus Christ. In their letters, the role of a submissive wife is repeated five times:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1, ESV).
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22-24, ESV).
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18, ESV).
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3, ESV).
“And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:4-5, ESV).
Key points
Two key points emerge When we read the early church leaders’ message.
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First, the message from the Apostles shows a clear hierarchy in the Kingdom of God: God, Christ, man, and wife.
Second, wives’ roles are consistent throughout: they are called to submit to their husbands as Christ submits to His Father, while everyone ultimately grants Christ the final authority.
However, does the submission of wives in Christian marriage still apply to the 21st century, where both genders have different roles than in former times, and husbands and wives now often share responsibilities that were once divided by tradition? What is biblical submission, and how is it different from a cultural worldview if it does?
By examining the original Greek word for submission used in the Apostles’ letters and understanding the traditional role of wives through the examples of holy women throughout the Bible, we can better appreciate God’s grace and mercy in one of life’s most challenging aspects—marriage and love.
Word Study: The Greek Word for Submission in the New Testament
Submission can be a triggering word. It can conjure up the image of a wife trapped in a 1950s sitcom/horror movie, doing the dishes every night, accepting whatever her abusive husband demands, and living to cater to his every whim and fancy—but becoming a Christian wife isn’t about playing a Stepford wife or allowing abuse.
So, Let’s break down the Greek word for submission to better understand what the biblical authors meant by it.
Greek Origin: Hupotassō (ὑποτάσσω)
Meaning: The word hupotassō is a compound of two words:
hupo (ὑπό), meaning “under”
tassō (τάσσω), meaning “to arrange” or “to order”
Literal Translation: “To place oneself under” or “to subordinate.” (Blue Letter Bible)
But here’s the important part—submission is not about being inferior or lesser. Jesus is named Lord and King of Isreal, yet He humbly shows us that submission matters a lot even when it’s painful– as the ultimate way of love.
Jesus shows us what true submission to the will of God in the Garden of Gethsemane when He said, “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). God’s plan was to make His Son the Eternal King and Savior of the world, and the best way to accomplish this goal was through Jesus’s self-sacrificial love. Though it was excruciating, Jesus accepts God’s plan and follows through.
How to think of submision
To better understand biblical submission, think of it like this. In The Chronicles of Narnia, the Christ-like Lion King Aslan leads the battle against evil.
As the high king, Peter and his siblings follow Aslan’s guidance, even when they don’t fully grasp the plan.
They trust Aslan’s wisdom and submit to his leadership because they know he sees the bigger picture. Lucy, in particular, plays her role willingly, offering support and making crucial decisions at Aslan’s direction.
Just as Aslan’s plan ultimately leads to victory, the children’s trust and submission to him—even when the path is uncertain—ensures that they all play a crucial part in the battle to save Narnia.
Their willingness to follow Aslan reflects the beauty of submitting to a higher, trustworthy authority for the greater good. So, submission is about allowing abuse but rather willful alignment and active support.
In a Christian marriage today, submission in this sense could be:
Agreeing to attend a church in person or online or follow a particular pastor’s teaching that your husband feels spiritually led to.
Trusting your husband’s decision on which sermons or Bible studies to prioritize.
Allow your husband to decide which prayer routines or devotions to engage with, even if they differ from your preferences. ]
Choosing to align with your husband’s vision for how to raise your children as Christians, such as the right approach to discipleship or religious education.
Yet, ultimately, every Christian is called to submit to the will of Christ Jesus– even if it’s painful.
In a Christian marriage, submission to Christ may look like:
Reading the Word of God even if your husband doesn’t want you to.
Doing the right thing toward someone, even if your husband disagrees.
Listening to sermons or attending church, even if your husband mocks you for it.
Wive’s roles today
The role of wives today may differ from that of ancient Israel. Still, the holy women of the past have much to teach Christian women about the balance between martial submission and obedience to God. Their lives show both moments of faithfulness and moments of struggle, offering valuable lessons for us in our own walk with Christ.
Submissive wives in the bible
The Bible presents a complex view of wives, revealing their submission and disobedience and showing God’s mercy and loyal love.
The Bible provides a rich tapestry of stories about wives, From Adam’s wife, Eve, to Hosea’s wife, Gomer, who embodies both submission and disobedience, revealing important lessons about faith, marriage, and God’s Design.
By examining these stories, we gain insight into biblical submission, how it is rewarded, and the impact of defiance on the family unit and faith community through the conduct of wives in the Bible. These examples will help guide us as we delve into what it means to live a godly marriage today.
Submissive wives stories in the Bible
1. Eve
Eve was created as a helper for Adam and submitted to her role to build the Kingdom in the Garden of Eden. However, she later disobeyed God by eating the forbidden fruit and leading Adam to do the same (Gen. 2:15-25, AMP).
2. Sarah
Sarah initially took matters into her own hands by instructing Abraham to have a child with Hagar but later submitted to God’s promise and called Abraham “lord” (Gen. 16:1-16, 17:15-27, AMP), and Abraham blessed the nations through his wife’s submission.
3. Rebekah
Rebekah showed submission by leaving her home to marry Isaac but later deceived him by helping Jacob steal Esau’s blessing (Gen. 24:2-67, AMP).
4. Tamar
Tamar, while not traditionally submissive, tricked Judah to secure justice, demonstrating boldness that was later acknowledged as righteous (Gen. 38:1-30, AMP).
5. Zipporah
Zipporah saved Moses by circumcising their son, showing submission to God’s covenant (Exod. 4, AMP).
6. Aksah
Aksah requested land from her father, asserting herself within her marriage while respecting her husband’s role (Judg. 1:12-15, AMP).
7. Jael
Jael took matters into her own hands by killing Sisera, securing victory for Israel, but outside the traditional submissive role (Judg. 4:21, AMP).
8. Ruth
Ruth demonstrated submission and loyalty by following her mother-in-law Naomi and marrying Boaz according to custom (Ruth 1-4, AMP).
9. Michal
Michal, David’s wife, initially supported him but later mocked his worship, leading to estrangement (1 Sam. 14:49; 1 Sam. 18-19, AMP).
10. Hannah
Hannah submitted to God by dedicating her son Samuel to the Lord despite being one of two wives (1 Sam. 1:2, 2:18, AMP), making Samuel one of the most predominant prophets of Israel.
11. Bathsheba
Bathsheba committed adultery with David but later secured her son Solomon’s kingship through political wisdom (2 Sam. 11, AMP).
12. Solomon
Solomon’s many wives led him away from God, resulting in disobedience that fractured Israel (1 Kings 10-11, AMP).
13. Esther
Esther submitted to God’s will by marrying the Persian King and risking her life by disobeying her husband’s command to not enter his presence to save her people and obey God (Esther 1-10, AMP), illustrating what it looks like to submit to God’s will above a husband’s authority.
14. Job’s wife
Job’s wife, while not submissive in her response to their suffering, endures alongside her husband in their trials (Job 1-42, AMP).
15. Gomer
Hosea’s wife, Gomer, was unfaithful and a prostitute. Still, Hosea remained obedient to God’s command to marry her as a symbol of God’s covenant love for Israel (Hos. 1-3, AMP), illustrating we are never too far gone for God’s redeeming love if we turn from our ways.
But the New Testament authors point to only one woman as an example of wifely submission: Sarah.
1 Peter on the Conduct of Christian Wive
1 Peter 3 states:
Wives, in the same way [as Christ], submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,
6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear (1 Peter 3 NIV).
Peter tells wives to submit to their husbands, just like Christ submitted to God. He’s speaking to women whose husbands don’t believe in God, saying their pure and respectful behavior might win them over without even needing words. He emphasizes that natural beauty isn’t about outward appearance—like fancy hairstyles or gold jewelry—but about the inner self, particularly a gentle and quiet spirit. This kind of beauty, Peter says, is precious in God’s sight.
Peter backs this up by pointing to the holy women of the past, like Sarah, who submitted to their husbands and trusted in God. Sarah is highlighted as an example because she obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. Peter encourages wives to follow her example, saying they are her daughters if they do what is right and don’t give in to fear.
Peter’s message is that it’s not about physical adornment or outward submission; it’s about the heart and trusting God’s design for Christian marriage, knowing your role and actions can influence your husband in powerful ways—without a word.
However, Sarah seems like a confusing pick after a closer look. Sarah, at times, struggled with trusting God’s promise, such as when she directed Abraham to conceive a child with her servant Hagar, who she later kicks out into the desert where she will likely die– yet the New Testament upholds her as a model of submission. What’s that about?
It’s her words and thoughts about her husband are the turning point in her story:
The Submissive Wife in the Bible: A Closer Look at Sarah
6 So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs [b] of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.”
7 Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it.
8 He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree.
Enter Sarah
9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said.
10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.
11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.
12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”
13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’
14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.
Interpretation
This passage from Genesis 18:3-14 shows a beautiful and profound example of submission, hospitality, and God’s divine promise at work. As the head of his household, Abraham instructs Sarah to prepare bread quickly. At the same time, he tends to the meal for the unexpected visitors– God’s messengers.
Sarah willingly submits to Abraham’s request and begins making bread for their spiritual visitors. Thus, she fulfills her role in God’s design for the family by listening to her husband and supporting him in his success in meeting God’s messengers. This moment isn’t just about household duties; it reflects a larger biblical submission rooted in respect, trust, and partnership within a godly marriage.
The key moment comes when one of the visitors, revealed to be the Lord, proclaims that Sarah will have a son within the following year. Overhearing this, Sarah silently laughs in disbelief, doubting how her worn-out body and that of her husband could bear a child in such old age.
Yet, God’s will is revealed with the reminder that “nothing is too hard for the Lord.” This demonstrates that in a Christian marriage, even in moments of doubt or weariness, we must NOT disrespect our husbands. She does not mock Abraham, but istead, honors him by calling him Lord. Her decision to change one word in how she thinks of her husband, a high from of respect by calling him lord, opens the door to God’s blessing being fufilled.
Also, notice that God totally catches Sarah’s thoughts. She doesn’t call Abraham “lord” out loud, but in her mind. This shows that, even in her private thoughts, she respects him. Pretty wild, right? God examines what is hidden person of the heart.
Now, back to 1 Peter 3, the Apostle jumps on this idea and explains that one powerful way to win your husband to the Lord is with a quiet and gentle spirit.
But here’s the thing—it’s not just about being quiet in what we say, it’s about our thoughts, too.
Peter even quotes Psalm 34, talking about keeping our tongues from evil and deceit. So much of disobedience starts with the words we think and speak about our husbands, and that’s where things can go sideways:
Psalm 34:12-15 (ESV):
“What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
Think about it—how often does disobedience show up in those sarcastic jabs, rolling our eyes, or venting to others? On the flip side, when we fill our thoughts and words with respect, that’s when we’re really reflecting that “quiet and gentle spirit” that is so precious to the sight of God that Peter talks about.
So, take a moment to meditate and memorize Psalm 34 to improve your marraige. By keeping your tongue from evil and seeking peace, you’ll be taking steps to not only strengthen your marriage but also align your heart with God’s design for a loving, respectful relationship that honors Christ and blesses others.
George Hendricks is the founder and managing editor of Godsverse.org. He has written and published over 200 skit reviews, church resource guides, and Bible study articles. With a background in data-driven content strategy and digital publishing, George built Godsverse into one of the most comprehensive collections of church skit reviews and printable scripts online. When he's not writing, he's researching what churches actually need and figuring out how to deliver it.
