The topic of this post is one of those facts about the Bible that people love pulling out to trip up Christians. “What was the real age of Rebekah when she married Isaac? ” Your average Christian does not know the answer to a question like this. When they hear the theory that some believe Rebekah was a toddler when she was forced to marry Isaac, they scratch their heads in confusion. That doesn’t sound right, but where did this theory originate? What does the Bible actually say about Rebekah’s age at the time of her marriage? And what is the meaning of all of this?
The Bible is the ultimate source of authority for Christians. Even today, Christians do not believe things that do not come from the Biblical text. We believe that “The Word of God is alive and active” (Hebrews 4:12). Therefore, the Bible will be seen as telling the truth on the matter in this post as well.
The reason why this is even a question is that the Bible is not clear about Rebekah’s age. We get some info about the birth of Rebekah, but it does not actually say how old Rebekah was when the marriage proposal occurred. Some other chronological markers are given, from which her age has been deduced.
Quick Assessment
Why does your prayer life keep falling flat?
It's usually one of four things — and each one needs a completely different strategy to break through. This 2-minute assessment tells you exactly which pattern is blocking you.
The story of Rebekah and Isaac is found in Genesis 24. Only the most important verses are given below to show the sequence of events and how the two of them eventually meet.
It all starts with Abraham who sends his servant to his home country to go find a suitable wife for his son.
Free Resource
Get Your FREE Prayer Guide Now
and join the Daily Way Devotional: Join 25,000+ Subscribers
“I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living,but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.” (vv. 3-4)
““The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” (vv.7-8)
The fact that Abraham adds the condition that the woman should freely come has been a hot topic among Biblical scholars. Rebekah, as the matriarch of the Israelites, is always described as a strong woman and the fact that Isaac’s bride-to-be would have a say in matters was not entirely common in those days.
The servant’s plan to find a wife who would marry Isaac
Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. (vv. 12-14)
Here, we see the servant devising a plan. Abraham did not give clear instructions about HOW he should find a wife for Isaac. But the servant realized that the young women gathered to draw water at a certain spring so he decided to go there. He prayed to God and asked for a clear sign so that he might know which woman should marry Isaac. The providential nature of how Rebekah is chosen matters because she becomes the matriarch of the tribes of Israel.
Now, it should be noted that a camel drinks a lot of water. They drink as much as 53 gallons in 2 minutes. The test that the servant devised for Isaac’s future bride tested her perseverance, helpfulness, patience, and also her physical strength. It was a test of character.
Photo by Claudia Gschwend on Unsplash
The first time the servant sees Rebekah
“Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.” (v.15)
It happened just as the servant prayed. Rebekah gave the servant a drink and volunteered to water his camels as well. That is how the servant knew that she was the one.
The servant (and his camels) were invited to Rebekah’s family’s house. They were from the same people as Abraham. In those days this meant that she was a suitable person for Isaac to marry. The servant relayed all that had happened to Rebekah’s family and they said:
“Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed.” (v.51)
“So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she said. So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies”.” (v.58-59)
Again, Rebekah’s choice in the matter is noteworthy.
“Isaac went out to the field one evening to meditate and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (vv. 63-67)
Rebekah’s age when she married Isaac
Ron Graham reminds us that “In order to make any calculation of Rebekah ’s age at marriage, it is necessary to make assumptions that cannot be substantiated in scripture.”
What we do see from the Bible is that she was a young woman who was old enough to fetch water – plenty, enough for the servant as well as his camels. She was also old enough to give consent to get married. Rebekah’s family was happy to see her go and they spoke blessings over her.
Sarah was 90 when Abraham was 100 (Genesis 17:17).*
Abraham was 100 when Isaac was born (Genesis 21:5).
Sarah was 90 when Isaac was born (conclusion from 1 and 2 above).
Sarah died at aged 127 (Genesis 23:1-2).
Isaac was 37 when his mother Sarah died (because 127-90=37).
Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah (Genesis 25:20). * This paragraph was obtained from simplybible.com
Rebekah married Isaac when she was in her teens (between 12-18 years old)
This was widely accepted as an acceptable age to get married since puberty has passed. Arranged marriages like this one were common where the man was often a bit older than the woman.
Photo by Tim Wildsmith on Unsplash
Where does the idea come from that Rebekah was 3 years old when she married Isaac then?
The fact that the Hebrew Bible was written thousands of years ago makes it a complicated document to read, understand, translate, and interpret. For this reason, there are many opposing views on the Biblical narrative. When you look at the global community that upholds the Biblical account it covers a wide array of people. This includes many religions, church traditions, and denominations. This means that Bible verses are not read through the same lenses by everyone reading them.
One such reading of the text, supposedly in Jewish tradition, claims that Rebekah married Isaac when she was just three years old. We need to ask the question: Did the old man Isaac really marry a little girl?
The events often considered to make such a claim are:
Isaac being placed on the altar (Genesis 22:9),
Abraham hearing of Rebekah’s birth (Genesis 22:20-23),
and Sarah’s death (Genesis 23:1-2).
Sometimes these events are read as if they happened simultaneously or without much time passing between them. Then it seems that only three years have passed since Abraham first heard about Rebekah. This has led people to make two deductions (Note, deductions; these are not found in the Bible). For the sake of argument, this is what they believe:
Since Isaac was 37 at the time of Sarah his mother’s death, he was 37 when Rebekah was born.
Since Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah, Rebekah would be 3 when the marriage took place (because 40-37=3)
Because of the providential nature of the union of Isaac and Rebekah, we need to discover the historical context in more depth to understand what really happened. Let’s see who Rebekah and Isaac were in the grand scheme of things.
Who was Rebekah & Isaac in the grand scheme of things? Why does Rebekah’s age when she married Isaac matter at all?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
You might remember Rebekah and Isaac from the following Bible stories and accounts that can all be found in the Old Testament book of Genesis from chapters 17 to 30:
Isaac’s dad, Abraham, and his wife, Sarah could not get pregnant, yet God promised Abraham that he would make him into a great nation.
After they eventually conceived a child, Isaac’s dad, Abraham, was told by God to place the boy on the altar. It is known as the sacrifice of Isaac. God tested Abraham’s heart and then He ended up giving an animal to sacrifice instead.
So, when he got older, Isaac was looking for a wife and that’s when Rebekah came into the picture.
Rebekah and Isaac also struggled to conceive, and eventually, they had two sons: Esau and Jacob.
Esau, the firstborn, was tricked out of his inheritance by his younger brother Isaac with Rebekah’s help. Since Isaac was blind in his old age, Rebekah knew that she could trick him into blessing the wrong son. She covered young Jacob’s arms in animal skin so that he may seem hairy like his older brother, and that’s how he got the blessing.
Jacob is seen as the father of the Israelites since the 12 tribes come from his lineage. This is why the Biblical matriarch Rebekah is a source of interest.
The 12 tribes play a massive role in the story of God’s people and is mentioned all the way through to Revelation.
Further notes for Christians who wonder about these questions
Fun fact: Esau is also believed to be directly tied to the Muslim religion today. His brother Jacob came to represent the Israelites and Esau the Edomites, who were said (Psalm 137) to have a hand in the destruction of Solomon’s temple, also known as the First Temple. According to Islam tradition, the prophet Ayyub was the great-grandson of Esau’s son.
In Genesis 25:23 God tells Rebekah: “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”
The issue of Rebekah’s veil when she married Isaac
Isaac and Rebekah had an arranged marriage. It was common in ancient times for family members to arrange who a young woman would get married to. Rebekah’s brother played a key role in the arrangement of her marriage, but the choice was ultimately up to her. Abraham states that the servant should only bring a woman back who agrees to become Isaac’s wife. This was a little abnormal for the time.
An article entitled The Servant’s Tale: How Rebekah Found a Spouse by Jack M. Sasson appeared in the Journal of Near Eastern Studies Volume 65:4. In it, Sasson discovered Genesis 24 in more depth. One of the main points that he made is that the marriage between Rebekah and Isaac was interdynastic (one dynasty links hands with another). This is seen because Isaac does not travel to Canaan, but a servant is sent with camels and gifts to woo a future bride for the servant’s master.
The whole story is told in a beautiful way that sounds similar to how princesses are described in other ancient literature traditions.
“Isaac went out to the field one evening to meditate and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (vv. 63-67)
The focal point of the article, however, is not on the servant, or Isaac, but on Rebekah herself. Sasson explains how Rebekah’s self-veiling shows something unique. It could be that she did so out of modesty, but Sasson says there may be more to it: “Rebekah had herself chosen to leave her land and, by veiling herself, takes control of the stories that will be told about her.”
Rebekah is seen as the matriarch of Israel. She is a strong woman from the moment that we first meet her, watering camels as if it is an easy task. She goes on to speak to God and lead her family.
“Rare among Hebrew women, Rebekah can appeal directly to God (25:22–23) and, when armed with oracular prescience, can make harsh choices between sons, again like Abraham. Like Sarah, she has the resolve to force on a reluctant husband the fulfillment of God’s promise (27).”
– Jack M. Susson
Summary of Rebekah’s age when she married Isaac
In summary, the Biblical account only tells us that after the death of Sarah, the servant of Abraham was sent to the land of Canaan to go and find a wife for Isaac. Father Abraham did not want his son to marry into another nation. So, Abraham’s servant traveled to Canaan and sat down at a watering well because he knew the custom was that all the young women fetch water. The servant prayed to God for a sign, and surely the first woman who came along fulfilled the sign.
Rebekah is described as a young woman. Her family blessed the union and she was even given the option to say no, but she agreed to go with the servant and marry Isaac. That is all we know about Rebekah’s true age, which leads Bible scholars to believe that nothing was out of the ordinary with the union.
The normal tradition was for young women to get married when they were teenagers and had passed through puberty, so Rebekah’s age when she married Isaac was probably between the ages of 12 and 18.
Eljoh Hartzer is combining theology and art to nurture faith journeys across generations. She is a Masters-level Practical Theologian with the University of Stellenbosch. She is also a writer and editor in the niche of Christianity and children's content and she illustrates children's books. Eljoh resides in the Swartland area in the Western Cape province of South Africa.
You can follow Eljoh on LinkedIn or Instagram.
