In this article, we will highlight 15 requirements for a church wedding, both Catholic and non-Catholic. If you are considering transitioning from single to married life in holy matrimony, this will be a helpful guide to tell you all you need to know to prepare adequately and avoid last-minute surprises.
Source: Jorge_Kress
General Requirements for the Protestant Church Wedding
Different churches do their weddings differently. However, here are common requirements that cut across.
1. The couple should be Christians
The Bible explicitly asks Christians to marry fellow Christians. Unequal yoking robs a couple of high levels of intimacy and could potentially lead to wrangles.
Given this, many churches will seek to ascertain whether both parties intending to marry are Christians or, at the very least, whether they are part of the church or profess the faith espoused by that church.
If you are looking to get married in a church, you can be sure the faith question will come up at some point in your conversation with your pastor, local bishop, or whomever in the local church they appoint to attend to you.
If you haven’t already done so, discuss the matter. Meeting church leaders when you are on the same page helps. If it emerges that one or both of you are not believers, visit your local church and let them advise further.
Moreover, many churches worldwide subscribe to the principle of heterosexual marriage. Using the original design where the first family consisted of Adam and Eve, they hold that marriage should be between a biological man and a biological woman.
This will likely be discussed in the initial interview with your local priest. If you are considering a Christian wedding, ensure you and your future spouse comply with this requirement.
3. Pre-wedding classes
Since many people who get married in church are entering their first marriage, churches run marriage preparation courses. Even a couple coming from a previous marriage is entering it with a new person; hence, these courses are still necessary.
These classes may take many names and forms. Still, they are all geared towards helping you, as the couple preparing to marry, truly appreciate the seriousness of the institution you are getting into, clarify your intentions, and adequately equip you for the journey ahead.
Experienced individuals, such as pastors, trained marriage counselors, an older mature couple from the church, etc., facilitate the classes, which tackle various issues, such as:
Finances
Family dynamics
Communication
Intimacy
Conflict resolution
Roles,
Parenting
So, pay attention to what is taught. Sooner or later, you may need to apply a lesson or two as a married couple.
When you plan to wed, check church events to determine when the next class will start.
Pro tip: Take the classes early. You may be swamped with wedding plans if you wait until the wedding date is near. Worse, you may have to change your wedding date if no class aligns with your set date for the wedding mass.
4. Adherence to civil laws
It is debatable whether marriage starts with adherence to civil laws. However, it is important to comply with the wedding requirement laws applicable in your jurisdiction to avoid potential issues with the law and ensure a valid marriage.
Luckily, more often than not, Church law around weddings aligns with civil laws.
Some common legal issues that cut across various jurisdictions are:
The two parties seeking marriage must be adults of consenting age.
None of the parties should be married at the time of the marriage ceremony or civil ceremony. The party must provide proof of divorce if a former spouse is alive. If they are dead, a death certificate would be an excellent way to prove they are not married and, hence, eligible for marriage.
Obtain a civil marriage license. In some jurisdictions, this must be signed before the religious ceremony; in others, the city clerk can handle it at the wedding. Confirm what is required in your jurisdiction and comply.
There might be a waiting period for authorization or processing of documents and processing fees that may apply. For example, the New York State marriage license costs $40 and is issued immediately.
To mention a few. Find out what specific laws and other civil general guidelines apply to your state and comply. You can call the relevant offices for clarification if any details are unclear.
5. A health check-up
In some churches in the United States, the pre-wedding checklist includes a health check. The soon-to-be-married couple is tested for specific health issues and conditions that may affect their well-being in marriage.
Blood test for things like blood group and rhesus factor.
Fertility test.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Chronic diseases.
Hereditary diseases.
As controversial as it may be, churches that vouch for health checks argue that it is necessary to prevent surprises in marriage. Why wait to discover some things in marriage when you can know and preempt or plan how to address potential health issues in advance?
Find out if this is required in the church where you intend to have the wedding celebration. If it is or is just something you and your future spouse deem essential, schedule it in advance to avoid a last-minute rush.
6. Decency
Church, generally considered a sacred place, has a robust yet often unspoken code of conduct. You can miss it if you are not a regular in a given church.
Other churches, like the Baptist church, are rather vocal about their stands. They clearly state that everything in a wedding ceremony should be done in a way that glorifies God.
Decency applies to elements of the Christian wedding ceremony, like one, the dress code. Too revealing dressing is typically frowned upon. Advise the bridal party, best man, family members, and guests to wear a classy, fancy, you name it, but decent outfit.
Moreover, the music and entertainment are also expected to be family-friendly—suitable for the whole family now that a wedding attracts guests of all ages.
After you appreciate the decency code of the local church, discuss it with your wedding planner or marriage coordinator and devise activities that uphold decency requirements.
Avoid anything that could potentially cause unnecessary friction and ruin your big day.
7. Wedding venue
There has been a long-running debate about whether it is possible to have a Christian wedding outside the four walls of a church.
The debate notwithstanding, a number of churches with Protestant leanings do not dictate that weddings must occur within the church’s precincts. The couple can choose a suitable place within or without the physical church walls to have their wedding celebration.
What’s important is to have an ordained minister come to officiate the wedding and have people witness the marriage ceremony.
Do you have a place you have dreamed of having your wedding at? Well, do your destination wedding. Just make the necessary arrangements with your church to have the officiants come.
Talking of officiants, another critical requirement for a Christian wedding is to be officiated by an ordained minister of the gospel from a recognized church. The minister’s primary role is to help the couple make a solemn promise/vows to one another and pray God’s blessings over the couple.
They serve as God’s representatives, symbolizing God’s presence at the wedding celebration.
The wedding does not have to happen in your local church or be officiated by your local church minister. A minister from a different church can very well officiate the wedding, which can happen in any church a couple makes arrangements with in consultation with the local church.
9. A local church visit
This forum(s) allows the church leadership to meet the couple, hear them out, establish whether they have met any set requirements, and help the parties clarify issues going to the wedding day.
These general guidelines apply well if you attend a non-Catholic church. The catholic church takes a different approach to some of the requirements for church wedding. Let us explore that next.
The Catholic church takes the sacrament of marriage seriously. Couples wishing to have a catholic wedding ceremony undergo intensive preparation and must fulfill certain conditions to have a Catholic church wedding.
Catholic weddings have somewhat different requirements from the non-Catholic church or civil ceremonies. Specific catholic marriage requirements include:
1. Congruence in faith
Generally, the catholic faith is not restrictive regarding interfaith marriage. Simply, one or both parties should be Catholic for a valid Catholic wedding, as captured in the canonical form.
If a catholic wishes to marry a non-Catholic Christian, they can. Only they need to inform the priest when they go for the initial interview.
However, the non-Catholic spouse needs to know that the children are to be raised according to the principles of the Catholic faith.
2. Initial interview
This is an important first point of contact between the couple and the church. Typically, it happens in the home parish of either the bride or groom-to-be since most weddings happen at the local parish of either.
This initial meeting allows the couple to state their intention, hear from the parish priest or any other assigned Catholic priest about the requirements, and seek clarification.
3. Prenuptial investigation
This is meant to ascertain if the couple is eligible for marriage. The Roman Catholic church sacramental marriage is based on four main principles, which are stated below:
Marriage is to be entered into freely without any coercion.
It is a lifelong commitment, not a contract with an expiry date that the couple can enter into and exit at will.
Exclusivity principle. The partners are expected to be faithful to each other.
Procreation. The couple is encouraged to have children, but not having any does not annul the commitment.
Prepare to answer questions around these principles.
Catholic churches generally ask for some documents to ascertain membership and adherence to sacraments. Before you head out to the canonical interview, ensure that you have the following documents:
1. Baptismal certificate to show one is a baptized Christian.
2. Confirmation certificates for proof of confirmation.
3. Communion records.
4. Any other relevant additional documents like canonical form.
Additionally, the parish priest will ask other questions, such as your full name, what parish church you come from, how long you have been in the relationship, and whether you two are living together.
5. Pre-Cana seminar
This is the Roman Catholic church equivalent of premarital classes. Typically run by the parish priest, the sessions are meant to equip the couple to be ready for marriage and preempt potential challenges they may face.
Key issues, such as finances, wedding planning, sexuality and contraceptives, parenting, conflict resolution, family history, and planning for the wedding day, are discussed during the seminar, which typically runs over several sessions. The intense prep is meant to ensure the success of Catholic marriages.
6. Wedding liturgy happens in church
The Catholic Church insists on having the nuptial mass in a church building. The Catholic faith considers the church a sacred place, so the serious sacrament of marriage is expected to happen within the walls of the church.
If you plan on having a catholic church wedding, forget about the destination wedding where you bring your own priest.
And don’t worry if some of your guests are non-Catholic. Their presence is not an issue. Besides, the structure resembles normal church services, so they won’t feel out of place.
Kendrick Ong'anya is a freelance Christian writer based in Nairobi, Kenya. As a believer in Christ, he is passionate about writing Christian content to deepen believers' faith, even while drawing those who are yet to believe into the fold. He is open to collaborating with individuals and organisations to curate blog posts, articles, devotionals, prayer guides, verse/ chapter commentary, and e-books, among other Christian content. You can follow Kendrick on Facebook.
