Adultery is a sexual sin that comes with one of the most severe punishments. Hence, it is best for married couples to remain faithful to their partners to prevent the consequences of adultery stated in the Bible. Many verses of the scriptures give similar commands about lusting after someone else, other than one’s spouse.
“You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) is the seventh commandment of the ten commandments. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.” When we speak of adultery, most people assume it only becomes a sin when a married person has sexual relations with someone that’s not their partner. But Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:28 that, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This verse of the scripture applies to both married men and women who entertain lustful thoughts in their hearts towards others.
There’s no justifiable reason why Christian couples should commit adultery, but it happens. Why is this behavior common among believers, including ministers? What are the physical and spiritual consequences of adultery in the Bible? Keep reading as we answer these questions using biblical references and relatable marital experiences.
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7 Possible Causes of Adultery in a Christian Marriage
Married couples commit adultery for several reasons. Let’s discuss the 7 most common ones:
1. Unmet Expectations
Sometimes, couples cheat because the mental picture they have about marriage with their partners is different from what they’re experiencing. During the courtship period, most young Christian men and ladies behave in the most ideal way to impress their partners. They dress well, smell nice, communicate well, and act committed to the things of God. But a few months or years after marriage, they’ll begin to display their true characters, which may be disappointing to their spouses.
There’s no hiding place in marriage, which implies that couples can’t pretend for a long time. While no one is perfect, some character traits are intolerable. If a wife is rebellious and disrespectful to her husband, it’s only a matter of time before he begins to lose interest in her. The book of Proverbs 21:9 says, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
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Similarly, if a married man doesn’t have a stable source of income, his wife may begin to develop interest in her male co-worker, who buys her lunch and gives her money without asking. Many couples do not go into marriage with the intention to cheat on their spouses. But when their expectations are not met, they’ll look for someone else who can meet them.
2. Sexual Dissatisfaction
Physical intimacy is not only for procreation but for mutual pleasure between a man and his wife. Unfortunately, some men and women are not experiencing sexual satisfaction with their spouses, no matter how hard they try.
Contrary to the beliefs of many religious individuals, sexual relations between a man and his wife are not a sin. Apostle Paul supports this in 1 Corinthians 7:2, which says, “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” Moreover, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 says, “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
When a married woman feels sexual relations with her husband is a sin, she won’t engage in the act properly. As a result, her husband may not have sexual fulfillment in the marriage. On the other hand, if a married man struggles with pornography, he may not experience sexual satisfaction with his wife because his sexual expectations are not realistic. Couples who don’t enjoy sexual relations with their spouses easily fall into the act of adultery.
3. Boredom
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Believe it or not, boredom can make married couples break their marital vows even if they don’t have a lustful intent. In the book of 2 Samuel 11 tells the story of David and Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite. From this biblical record, we can see that King David was supposed to go to war, but he decided to stay at home. While the king was walking on the roof of his house, probably because he was bored, he saw a beautiful woman taking her bath. He asked his messengers about this woman, and they confirmed that she was married. Still, King David committed adultery with another man’s wife, and she got pregnant for him.
When God called King David’s attention to his sin through prophet Nathan, he quickly apologized. However, he faced the consequences of the sin of adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband Uriah. Christian couples must keep their minds and bodies engaged to prevent the enemy from tempting them to do things that are not pleasing to God.
Additionally, some people are afraid to sexually express themselves freely with their spouses in their matrimonial bedroom. When couples refuse to improve in their sexual life, the act will become uninteresting. Over time, this can result in boredom and the sin of sexual immorality, especially if one of them has a sexually immoral person as a friend.
4. Lack of Boundaries
Christian couples who don’t have boundaries in their marriage tend to fall into the temptation of adultery. There’s nothing wrong with having male friends as a married woman and female friends as a married man. However, there should be a limit to the information they have access to about your life and the things they can do.
In modern marriages, a married woman’s best friend can be a single guy whom she confides in about her husband. Such women are on the path of destruction because they have no moral standards about the sanctity of marriage.
Setting a meaningful boundary in marriage can be as simple as relating with members of the opposite sex in a professional manner. Moreover, couples must not get too close to someone else other than their partners to prevent the enemy from deceiving them. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”
5. Marital Conflicts
Constant fights and arguments can make couples seek comfort in the arms of someone else. Marital conflicts are common in marriages, and they’re perfectly normal, especially among newlyweds. Just because a man and his wife argue once in a while doesn’t mean they hate each other. Rather, they’re trying to find common ground about issues in their marriage that will be comfortable for the both of them.
However, some marital issues can become so intense to the extent that a spouse will disconnect emotionally from the union. During that period, the sweet talk of someone who shows little interest in them may be convincing . Paul the Apostle instructs believers in Ephesians 4:26-27, saying, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Couples who resolve marital conflicts quickly hardly entertain the evil thoughts of committing adultery.
Couples who are struggling with having children may consider having extramarital affairs to solve this problem. In the Book of Genesis 16, we can see this kind of situation in the story of Abraham, his wife Sarah, and her maid Hagar. Sarah was barren for several years, so she urged Abraham to sleep with Hagar, with the hope that she would have a child through the maid. Unfortunately, Sarah’s decision did not go according to her plan because Hagar became disrespectful after conceiving for Abraham.
If a married woman has a health challenge that prevents her from getting pregnant, her husband may break his marriage vows with the aim of having children with another woman. While infertility should not be an excuse for cheating in a godly marriage, it is a serious challenge that exposes couples to different ungodly ideas.
7. Lack of Self-Control
People who commit the sexual sin of adultery have a problem with controlling their sexual desires. According to Galatians 5:21-23, self-control is one of the fruits of the spirit that a believer must possess. Temptation will always come from different sources, but a married individual must be disciplined and careful not to fall into it.
Proverbs 5:15-16 says, “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets?” This verse of the scripture emphasizes the importance of being content with one’s spouse, instead of engaging in the shameful act of adultery with several people. Someone who lacks self-control can be compared to a car with a faulty brake. They’re on the path of destroying their lives and causing problems for the people close to them. Sexual discipline is important for all Christian couples whose desire is to have a successful marriage that pleases God.
Sexual immorality, including adultery, is one of the works of the flesh that can prevent a person from inheriting the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21). Whoever commits the sin of adultery will suffer the consequences, according to the word of God. Proverbs 6:27-29 says, “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.” Let’s discuss some of the consequences of adultery in the Bible.
1. Emotional Distress
Individuals who commit adultery often suffer from emotional distress that can affect their mental health and wellness. They’re always trying to hide their illicit affairs from their spouse, which can lead to constant unrest and stress. Proverbs 28:1 confirms the plight of adulterers, saying, “The wicked run away when no one is chasing them, but the godly are as bold as lions.”
People who engage in extramarital affairs tend to lose their peace. And even when their spouse finds out they’re cheating, they become more troubled and may begin to walk on eggshells in their home as a result of fear.
In the Book of 2 Samuel 12, we can see that King David lost his peace when the child Bathsheba had for him became sick. The king was sorrowful to the extent that he couldn’t eat or sleep for seven days until the child died. There’s no limit to the evil things that can happen to people who break their marriage vows by committing sexual immorality. God takes all forms of vows seriously, and He won’t spare those who take them with levity.
According to the teachings of Christ Jesus in the Book of Matthew 19:9, the sin of adultery is a basis for divorce. Marriage is God’s original design for man because it offers lots of benefits, including companionship and procreation.
When a married couple remains faithful to each other, they’ll be able to fulfill God’s purpose for their lives. If a married man or woman commits adultery, they’re not only sinning against their spouse but against the Almighty. Divorce is not a part of God’s plan for marriage, as the book of Malachi 2:16 clearly states that God hates divorce. But if a spouse leaves their cheating partner, they’re justified because adultery is a great sin before God and man.
Couples who have gone through divorce can testify that it’s a traumatic experience that anyone should avoid in every way possible. Regardless, it is better than staying married to a sexually immoral spouse who can expose them to several problems, including life-threatening diseases.
By engaging in extramarital affairs, an individual can go from having excess resources to having nothing. The sin of adultery comes with a high price that people who commit it may not be able to pay. A married man who cheats with several women tends to spend a lot more money on them than the one who is faithful to his wife. Unfortunately, most of these women are more interested in the things they can get than the man’s welfare.
The Bible confirms that adultery can make a man poor in the book of Proverbs 6:26, which says, “For a prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.” God’s law about staying faithful in marriage will never change. When a man and his wife remain committed to each other in marriage, God will release His blessings upon their life to ensure their prosperity. On the contrary, people who engage in illicit affairs operate under the curse of God that makes them struggle to prosper in their endeavors.
Proverbs 5:8-10 warns all believers about the loss of wealth associated with having sexual relations with a strange woman. These verses of the scripture say, “Keep to a path far from her; do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.”
4. Shame
Adultery can expose a person to shame or ridicule among family, friends, and even strangers. In the book of John 8:3-11, we can see the story of a woman who was caught in the act of adultery. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought the woman to a place where many people were gathered and made her stand before them.
There’s no biblical record of the number of people in the gathering, but we assume many people were there because of Jesus’ presence in that vicinity. Exposing a person for committing adultery in the midst of a multitude is one of the most embarrassing moments they can experience. Everywhere such a person goes, people would be gossiping about their secret sin. In some cases, the person may lose their source of income, friendships, and potential opportunities to become successful.
Adultery is a shameful sexual behavior that can make an individual lose their dignity and honor. It’s no wonder why those who commit this sin do so secretly. Some cheaters choose a faraway location to indulge in this shameful sin to prevent coming in contact with familiar faces. Christian couples who value their reputation would run away from the act of adultery and cling to their spouses for better or for worse.
5. Death
One of the most serious consequences of adultery in the Bible is the death penalty. We can see this in the book of Leviticus 20:10, which says, “If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” Similarly, Deuteronomy 22:22 says, “If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel.” But in the New Testament, anyone who has extramarital affairs may not die physically because of God’s grace that appeared to mankind after the death of Jesus Christ. Regardless, they will experience spiritual death or disconnection that may prevent them from inheriting the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 confirms this by saying,
“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
When they pray, God will not grant their requests, and He will hand them over to the enemy for punishment.
Fortunately, God is always willing to show them mercy once they ask for the forgiveness of sin and forsake their evil ways of sexual immorality.
Final Thoughts
As we can see, the consequences of adultery in the Bible are better imagined than experienced. Perhaps you’re struggling with this sexual sin; God can deliver you completely before it destroys your life. Spend quality time in the place of prayer and ask for the grace to remain faithful to your spouse.
Moreover, make it a habit to read and meditate on the word of God daily and pay attention to all the instructions that pertain to living a holy life as a married person. Finally, ask the Holy Spirit to guide your actions and decisions so that you won’t fall into the schemes of the enemy. God will breathe life into your marriage and make your union peaceful and desirable.
Kennie Oguntoyinbo is a freelance content writer, editor and proofreader with over 4 years of experience. She is highly skilled in creating captivating and informative content across the Christian, relationship, and parenting niches. With a deep love for Christian-related articles, she writes content that inspires the readers, combining biblical lessons with practical knowledge. Whether writing devotional blogs, relationship advice, or family-focused articles, she aims to glorify God while connecting with readers through relatable, encouraging, faith-driven articles.
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